35 Funniest Food Moments from "Seinfeld"
It's funny how pop culture can totally influence your palette. Any time the "black and white cookie" episode of Seinfeld is on TV, I must have one of those round circles of heaven immediately after. And whenever I see a cinnamon babka, I do take a minute to consider if it truly is "the lesser babka?" When I really stopped to think about it, it's astounding how big of a part food played in the lives of Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer. They were either obsessed with it or using it as bribes—and Jerry was always eating his staple of cereal and milk.
With all the marks that Seinfeld made on pop culture, food is one of the most dominant themes—and it makes sense since it did take place in New York City. But, it got me thinking and reminiscing about the show I hold so dear and never realized until recently just how hungry—or repulsed—it could make me. And so, I present to you the 35 funniest food related moments from Seinfeld! Love a little nostalgia? Then check out the 35 Funniest Food Moments from "Friends" to keep the laughs going!
The Black and White Cookie Breaks Jerry's Vomit-Free Streak
Episode: The Dinner Party, Season 5
It starts innocently enough. Jerry and Elaine run into the bakery to pick up a cake on the way to a dinner party. While in line, Jerry spots the display of some of New York City's finest black and white cookies and waxes poetic on the deeper meaning of the cookies: "I love the black and white. Two races of flavor living side by side…" But the cookie isn't so peaceful, after all; it causes Jerry to become ill and break his non-vomit streak—held since June 29, 1980.
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Kramer Drops a Junior Mint Into a Patient Having Surgery
Episode: The Junior Mint, Season 4
When Kramer and Jerry are invited to watch Elaine's ex-boyfriend undergo a splenectomy, leave it to Kramer to treat it like viewing a double feature and brings along a snack. His choice? Junior Mints. And the problem? One falls from their viewing deck right into the patient and gets sewn up inside him.
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The Gang Goes on a Mission to Find Out If Their Favorite Fro Yo Is Really Non-Fat
Episode: The Non-Fat Yogurt, Season 5
Jerry, Elaine, and George are indulging in the delicious, non-fat frozen yogurt from the shop that Kramer's invested in. Of course, the "healthy" treat is too good to be true when Jerry and Elaine start gaining weight. Never one to be duped—or miss out on a tasty treat—Elaine sends a sample to the lab for testing. After a series of mishaps, not only does the lab conclude that the yogurt does indeed contain fat—but the shop starts selling real non-fat yogurt, which is not only disgusting but causes the store to go out of business!
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DON'T MISS: Every Ben & Jerry's Flavor—Ranked from Best to Worst!
Elaine Reveals The Muffin Tops Are the Best Part
Episode: The Muffin Tops, Season 8
Everyone knows that the top of the muffin is the best part. So, Elaine innocently confesses to her ex-boss Mr. Lippman that she only eats the tops and that a bakery selling only muffin tops would be a "million dollar idea." And alas, Elaine is shocked when she discovers that he stole her idea and opened up "Top of the Muffin to You." Elaine joins the business because he's not making the tops correctly (you must make the whole muffin and then pop the top from the stump). The problem? No one—not even the homeless community—wants all those extra stumps. The solution? Newman and a case of milk to make those stumps disappear!
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Elaine Stops for Jujyfruits After Hearing Her Boyfriend Is In the Hospital
Episode: The Opposite, Season 5
If you're at the movie theater and find out that your boyfriend—whom you've just gotten back together with no less—has been in an accident, what would you do? If you're Elaine, you make a pit stop for some jujyfruits at the concession stand on the way out. And that lack of consideration for not running out of the theater immediately to be by her boyfriend's side makes him her ex once again!
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George's Dad Takes Back a Marble Rye
Episode: The Rye, Season 7
You know, George's dad had a point—if you're going to bring something to a dinner party, say a marble rye, the polite thing to do is put it out for the guests to enjoy. But if that doesn't happen, is stealing it back okay? In the words of Mr. Costanza: "What do you mean stole? It's my bread. They didn't eat it. Why should I leave it there?" Speaking of bread, don't miss out on these 20 Secrets for Eating Bread Without Getting Fat.
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George Is Mad That Elaine Thinks His Girlfriend Paid For Her Big Salad
Episode: The Big Salad, Season 6
Which ultimately matters more—what's in a big salad ("Big lettuce, big carrots, tomatoes like volleyballs") or who paid for the salad?
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Mr. Pitts Starts a Trend of Eating Snickers With a Knife and Fork
Episode: The Pledge Drive, Season 6
Mr. Pitts, ever the trendsetter, eats his Snickers with a knife and fork. Elaine is shocked but George thinks he may be onto something: "He probably doesn't want to get chocolate on his fingers. That's the way these society types eat their candy bars!" It's certainly a good way to slow down your meals and be more mindful; find out the 17 Reasons You're Overeating (And How to Stop!)
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The Gang is Starving Waiting For a Table at a Chinese Restaurant
Episode: The Chinese Restaurant, Season 2
The ultimate gamble is going to a crowded restaurant without a reservation when you have a movie to catch (especially if it's Plan 9 from Outer Space—the worst movie ever made!). And so George, Jerry, Elaine and Kramer are stuck waiting for their table at a Chinese restaurant as the maitre'd tells them "five to ten more minutes" every five to ten minutes. There's nothing more miserable than being ravenous while waiting for your table—which is why Jerry dares Elaine to take an egg roll from someone's plate for $50! We'd do it; What Happens to Your Body When You're Hangry is no joke!
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Jerry Is Responsible for the Failed Authentic Pakistani Cafe
Episode: The Cafe, Season 3
Poor Babu listens to Jerry and turns his failing "The Dream Cafe" into the "only authentic Pakistani restaurant in town." When that fails, too, he calls Jerry out for his terrible advice: "You're a very, very bad man!"
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Jerry's Date Won't Eat Pie—and He Won't Eat Poppie's Pizza
Episode: The Pie, Season 5
Why won't Jerry's girlfriend take a bite of pie? We'll never know, but we do know why Jerry wouldn't dare eat pizza after he caught her father—Poppie, the owner of the restaurant—leave the bathroom without washing his hands!
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Is the Chocolate Babka Really Superior to Cinnamon Babka?
Episode: The Dinner Party, Season 5
When Jerry and Elaine miss out on getting the last chocolate babka to bring to a dinner party, Elaine worries that going with the cinnamon one instead means bringing "the lesser babka." But Jerry makes an impassioned plea for cinnamon lovers everywhere: "Beg your pardon? Cinnamon takes a back seat to no babka. People love cinnamon. It should be on tables at restaurants along with salt and pepper. Anytime anyone says, 'Oh This is so good. What's in it?' The answer invariably comes back: cinnamon. Cinnamon. Again and again. Lesser babka? I think not." Preach, Jerry! Cinnamon is one of the best ingredients for weight loss, too.
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Jerry Tries to Bribe Newman with Drake's Coffee Cakes
Episode: The Suicide, Season 3
What else are you going to bribe Newman with, other than food? Background: Jerry's neighbor has tried to commit suicide and is in a coma—but the poor bloke's girlfriend hits on Jerry! In an effort to hush up Newman, he bribes him with Drake's coffee cakes. It almost works except a starving Elaine (who has been fasting for a blood test) eventually gets to them first!
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Kramer Gets Obsessed With Kenny Rogers Roasters
Episode: The Chicken Roaster, Season 8
Kramer hates the red neon light of the Kenny Roger's Roasters flashing in his apartment so much that he makes Jerry switch apartments with him. But when Newman brings over a box of the delicious chicken, Kramer becomes addicted. And Jerry isn't amused since he starts morphing into Kramer!
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Jerry Ruins a Piano Recital with a Tweety Bird Pez Dispenser
Episode: The Pez Dispenser, Season 3
Jerry ruins George's girlfriend's piano recital by pulling out a Tweety Bird pez dispenser and making Elaine LOL in the middle of the performance. Maybe they're not the most nutritious treat, but they sure are the funniest!
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George Figures Out How to Combine Food and Sex
Episode: The Blood, Season 9
When his girlfriend lights some vanilla incense before they have sex, it makes George hungry. So, he thinks about his dream trifecta: eating, watching TV and having sex all at the same time. But eating a pastrami sandwich while watching a portable TV under the covers doesn't exactly go over well during foreplay—and then there's George pesky little problem of getting aroused whenever he eats! FYI, these are the 30 Best Proteins for Your Penis…
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George Eats An Eclair Out of the Trash
Episode: The Gymnast, Season 6
Only George would try to justify why it's okay that he ate a partially-eaten eclair out of the trash. "It was clean and on top." Thankfully, Jerry reminds him that he's "crossed the border between man and bum by eating trash."
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The Soup Nazi Declares "No Soup For You!"
Episode: The Soup Nazi, Season 7
Bottom line is this: If you want the most delicious soup in all the land, you follow the rules set by the "Soup Nazi." If you don't? Then, as Elaine learned the hard way, "No soup for you!"
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George Offends With the Double Dip
Episode: The Implant, Season 4
George gets caught committing one of the worst snacking offenses—double-dipping a chip—and at a wake no less. "You dipped the chip. You took a bite. And you dipped again!" To which George retorts, "You dip the way you want to dip…I'll dip the way I want to dip." Touché? Speaking of chips, always avoid these 10 "Healthy Chips" That Are Just as Bad as Lay's.
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Kramer Finds a Lobster Trap in the Hamptons
Episode: The Hamptons, Season 5
Who can resist delicious, fresh lobster? While vacationing in the Hamptons, Kramer unknowingly takes lobster from a commercial trap—causing him to get arrested for lobster poaching. But it was kinda worth it for George; after Jerry's girlfriend sees George's "shrinkage," she tells George's girlfriend about it and she leaves. As his revenge, George feeds her scrambled eggs with a hidden ingredient (lobster!), a delicacy she can't have because she's kosher.
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Jerry's Date Eats Lobster With Her "Man-Hands"
Episode: The Bizarro Jerry, Season 8
What is worse for Jerry than dating a girl with "man-hands?" How about watching her use those "man-hands" to crack open a beer or devour a lobster?
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Jerry's Apartment is Infested Thanks to Newman's Chunky Candy Bars
Episode: The Doodle, Season 6
A flea infestation in Jerry's apartment has him baffled—where did they come from?! The mystery is solved when Elaine has to go into the apartment while it's being fumigated to retrieve a manuscript she left there—and finds Chunky candy bar wrappers that Jerry knows can only mean one thing: NEWMAN!
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Kramer Loses His Taste Buds During Mackinaw Peach Season
Episode: The Doodle, Season 6
Kramer is obsessed with his Mackinaw peaches from Oregon that are ripe for only two weeks a year. And, of course, he loses his taste buds during those two weeks. His taste comes back just in time, except once again, things are foiled by NEWMAN! Love peaches, too? Check out these 18 Peach Recipes to Keep You Peachy-Lean.
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Kramer Adds a Garbage Disposal to His Shower
Episode: The Apology, Season 9
Kramer loves his shower so much that he decides he may as well live in there and brings all the amenities with him that he needs: shower-proof phone, waterproof dinner, and a garbage disposal right in the drain.
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Gyros Cause Trouble on the Subway
Episode: The Cigar Store Indian, Season 5
This is why we kinda think that eating should be banned on the subway (or any form of mass transit). Kramer's arm gets stuck in the subway door—with his gyro hanging out—and someone steals it! Meanwhile, Elaine is reading a collector's copy of TV Guide that she took (without permission) from Mr. Costanza and it gets ruined by tzatziki sauce from the gyros she was eating.
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Elaine Tests Positive for Opium Because of Her Poppy Seed Muffin
Episode: The Shower Head, Season 7
Before Elaine can accompany J. Peterman on a trip to Kenya, she has to take a urine test—that comes back positive for opium! J. Peterman is ready to help Elaine through it, as he too had a bad experience. But then it hits her—the poppy seeds from her favorite muffin are the culprits!
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Kenny Bania Doesn't "Count" Soup at Mendys
Episode: The Soup, Season 6
No good deed goes unpunished! Jerry takes his fellow comedian Kenny Bania to dinner at Mendy's as a "thank you" for the Armani suit Bania gave him. Unfortunately, Bania only orders soup and claims it "can't count" as the meal. And Jerry found out real quick that treating him to soup and a sandwich at Monk's a few days later doesn't count either because it wasn't at a "fancy restaurant."
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George Gets Caught Dripping Ice Cream All Over Himself at the US Open
Episode: The Lip Reader, Season 5
Would you break up with someone if they were caught on TV at a major sporting event (like oh, say, the US Open) with an ice cream sundae dripping all over their face? Well, if that "someone" was George, then you might!
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Kramer and Poppie Go Into The Pizza Restaurant Business Together
Episode: The Couch, Season 6
Kramer and Poppie are set to go into the pizza business together and open a shop where you can "make your own pie." But things fall apart when Poppie won't let Kramer use cucumbers as a topping…
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Jerry Attracts the Dogs When He Hides Mutton in His Pockets
Episode: The Wink, Season 7
Jerry's attempt to eat healthy goes awry when his girlfriend serves mutton to him and Elaine for dinner. Not wanting to be rude, he spits the meat into his napkins and hides it in the pockets of his jacket. The problem? Elaine leaves first and borrows the jacket—and gets chased by dogs down the street who smell the mutton on her!
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"These Pretzels Are Making Me Thirsty!"
Episode: The Alternate Side, Season 3
You just can't think of Seinfeld without thinking of the line "These pretzels are making me thirsty." It was supposed to be Kramer's one line in the Woody Allen movie filming on his block. But he just couldn't get it right—and gets fired from the movie after he says the line while slamming a beer and cuts Woody Allen!
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Jerry Squirts Grapefruit Juice in George's Eye and Gives Him a Wink
Episode: The Wink, Season 7
Jerry's penchant for healthy eating means big problems for George. The juice of Jerry's grapefruit squirts into George's eye and suddenly he's got a "wink" that makes his boss think that George is trying to get another co-worker into trouble for being late!
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Fusilli Jerry Has a Short Life
Episode: The Fusilli Jerry, Season 6
Kramer gets crafty with some pasta and creates "Fusilli Jerry," in his honor. But, sadly, Fusilli Jerry comes to an untimely end when Kramer and George's dad get into a scuffle—and Frank lands right on little Fusilli Jerry in a place where the sun don't shine.
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George Steinbrenner Insists On Having George's Calzone Every Day
Episode: The Calzone, Season 7
When you're working for none other than George Steinbrenner, you gotta give the man what he wants. And in this episode, what he wants is George's delicious-smelling eggplant calzone—every day. This is something George can actually handle but gets his calzone privileges taken away when the restaurant thinks they catch him stealing money out of the tip jar. (George was trying to put the money back in the jar so they would see the good deed.) When Steinbrenner insists on his calzone, George has no choice but to enlist Newman's help—for a price. "Well, for starters I want a calzone of my own… And a slice of pepperoni pizza and a large soda. And three times a week, I shall require a cannoli."
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Kramer Feeds Beefarino to the Horses
Episode: The Rye, Season 7
We can certainly appreciate Kramer's love for bulk items! He comes back with things he considers "staples," such as a four-pound can of black olives, a forty-eight pack of Eggo waffles, a gallon of barbecue sauce, and 10 pounds of cocktail meatballs. But his best purchase was a ginormous can of Beefarino that he feeds to the horse attached to the "hansom cab" he's taking over for the week. Only problem? It gives the horse some terrible flatulence that does not bode well for those trying to have a romantic moment like George's in-laws to be! (Psst! Always steer clear of these 23 Foods That Ruin Date Night!)
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